Guinea Pigs
by FunkyWashingMachine
Summary: College AU - Keith finds an illegal guinea pig stashed in his dorm room


When Keith opened the door he found a guinea pig cage in the middle of his room.

If this was a joke, it wasn't funny.

He checked the desk drawer first.

Nothing else was out of place in the room, but he really wasn't happy to think someone had BEEN here. He'd be more careful with the lock from now on.

He locked the door and dropped his stuff, then knelt down to the guinea pig's cage.

He had no idea whose guinea pig this was.

"Hey, little guy," he said. "Who left _you_ in here?"

The pig squabbled at his finger. He liked guinea pigs, just not by surprise. And he hoped that nobody had looked too deeply through his stuff.

"You're cute and everything, but it's kinda creepy that you're in here."

The guinea pig burrowed through its hay, leaving shavings on his floor.

Not like he swept all that often anyway.

There was food in its dish, but it probably wouldn't last for very long. He hoped whoever owned this pig would come back for it soon, because he didn't really feel like suddenly going out to buy pet food.

"They have until the pellets run out," Keith told the guinea pig. "After that, I'm gonna report you."

In his heart, he knew that was a lie.

There probably wasn't a way to report an illegal guinea pig in your room without getting in trouble, anyway.

On the other hand, if he left his door locked _now,_ the guinea pig's owner wouldn't be able to come get it back again.

Keith sighed.

"So, what's your name, little pig?"

It looked like a potato, with its little round butt sticking out of the hay.

Keith popped open the cage and touched it. It hopped around to face him, squeaking.

Cute little guy.

He pet it between the ears and it bopped its nose up high.

He really did like guinea pigs.

"You can come out for a bit if you want," he said. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

It seemed to take the pig a while to notice the cage was open, but eventually it crawled over the gate and plopped onto the floor.

His room, his rules.

If the guinea pig's owner didn't want him taking it out, then they shouldn't have made him its unwilling pet-sitter.

It sniffed over his shoes and began nibbling at the bits of grass stuck on them.

Keith chuckled and pet it again.

Very cute little guy.

Keith liked animals because they didn't ask for too much. They weren't complicated like people, all they wanted was food and attention, and they were nice to the touch. The guinea pig was warm beneath his hand, warm and vibrating and making happy little sounds.

He'd always gotten along better with the class guinea pigs than the students back in grade school. Everyone was equally weird to a guinea pig.

If this were his guinea pig, he'd probably have named it Potato. Or maybe Tater Tot. Something friendly.

He jumped when the door clunked on its hinges.

"Fucking SERIOUSLY?" somebody said from the other side.

Keith scooped up the guinea pig and locked it back in the cage. It seemed a little startled, too.

He got up and cracked the door.

"Uh, hi," said the boy on the other side. "Sorry, I was looking for something."

"Did you break into my room?"

"No I didn't! It was unlocked!"

Keith widened the door.

"So, is this yours?"

The boy grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, that's Killer. I'm sorry, I had to stash him somewhere for room check and this door was unlocked and I was kind of in a hurry… Sorry, I can take him back now."

Well. It wasn't Keith's proudest trait, but he could understand being an invasive piece of shit when you needed something. It helped that he liked guinea pigs.

He let the boy in.

"I'm Lance, by the way."

Sounded familiar. Keith thought he had seen him around the floor before.

"Hi."

"You have a good vacation, Killer?" Lance cooed at the guinea pig. "You make a nice new friend?"

"Why is he named Killer?" Keith asked.

"Why shouldn't he be? No one would be asking that if he was a DOG."

"Yeah. Good luck sneaking a DOG in here."

"Why do you think I got a guinea pig?" Lance picked up the cage. "So, was he a good little piggy for his visit?"

"What the heck's a _guinea pig_ gonna do that's so bad?"

Lance laughed.

"You're funny! I bet he had a great time here with a fun guy like you."

Keith wanted Lance to leave so he wouldn't see him blushing.

"Uh… if you ever need to hide him again…" Why was he saying that? "…just text me first."

It was only because he liked guinea pigs.

Lance put down the cage and pulled out his phone.

"Well, you know what I say," he smiled. "Nothing better for your social life than a guinea pig."


End file.
